Becoming UnBusy™ http://becomingunbusy.com Ditch Stuff. Live Life. Mon, 11 Jun 2018 19:18:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.6 It’s Okay That You Didn’t Do Today ‘Like a Boss’ http://becomingunbusy.com/like-a-boss/ Wed, 09 May 2018 02:15:00 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7316 We can find our self-worth in so many things. Our body shape, our grades, our income, the size of our house, and how many likes our last Instagram photo received. For many years I have found my worth in busyness. From the outside, looking in, people might think, ‘she’s a […]

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We can find our self-worth in so many things. Our body shape, our grades, our income, the size of our house, and how many likes our last Instagram photo received.

For many years I have found my worth in busyness.

From the outside, looking in, people might think, ‘she’s a go-getter!’, or describe me as driven and focused. But I’ll tell you a secret.

I’m just a little girl who has always felt that the more I’m doing the better I am. That a busy schedule means I’m important and therefore, that I’m okay.

This feeling of being okay with myself is at its highest when I’m productive, working on multiple task lists, and have a full calendar.

Busy is never finished.

But the feeling never lasts. The goal posts always move. I’m never busy enough or taking the best opportunities. The work is never done (where is the bottom of my laundry pile!). So the striving continues.

And that’s when I wind up on the kitchen floor, surrounded by mess, demanding children and pets, and belittled by my perceived failures.

And it’s here, in this mess that I have to remind myself, again, being busy does not define my worth.

Here on the floor, I have to tell myself that it’s okay that the house hasn’t been cleaned or the lego is still on the floor from yesterday, or that we ran out of milk again. It’s okay that the washing hasn’t come in off the line and is getting damp, again. It’s okay that the kids are getting an ‘easy’ dinner, again. It’s okay because today I’m choosing to love myself for who I am and just be still.

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Accept the UnBusy.

Accepting myself in stillness is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. But this path to self-worth has been the most sustainable and gratifying of any others I’ve walked. Taking a few moments of stillness and silence to tell myself that I’m okay, and tomorrow is another day is the best gift I can give myself.

It’s not necessarily the busy in itself, but it’s what we do with the busy that matters. We can use it as a yardstick against which we measure our worth, or we can choose busy intentionally, only to serve us when we need it.

3 Ways to Accept Yourself, in Stillness and UnBusy Periods

1 | Become friends with stillness and quiet.

I’m an introvert, so in some ways, this one comes easier. But even you extroverts, I encourage you to become comfortable with sitting in stillness.

Practically this might look like stripping back your calendar. I’m talking about unnecessary meetings, appointments, social media time, or Netflix time. It takes practice to become more accepting of this stillness. Get comfortable with just being and not doing. This could be a life’s work – best you start now! What if tomorrow you said no to one thing and said yes to a relaxing bath instead?

2 | Get to know imperfection and mediocre

I’ve always been a perfectionist. Less so after children, and even less after deciding that I want a slower life. Chasing perfection has always meant I’m constantly on the go, hustling, exhausted, and busy. Now I prefer to let a few things go. Like that washing on the line.

Sometimes good enough is just good enough. We can do our best without running our tank empty every time. What if tomorrow you choose to sit and admire the LEGO pile on the floor instead of picking them up?

3 | Let your inner child out to explore and play

One of the favorite stories from my childhood is a Little Golden Book – Santa’s Toy Shop. It describes how Santa and his elves are very busy all year around making all the toys for children in the workshop. And on Christmas Eve, he goes out to deliver all the presents and at the last stop, ‘he unpacked all the toys, but he did not hustle right away. Not this time!’. Instead, he set-up those toys he spent all year making and darn-well played with them!!!

I’d like to think that once in awhile, we could stop and play. Hang out in the home we’ve worked so hard to create and just enjoy it. What if tomorrow you just choose to use your home as a playground and channel that inner child?

Learning how to let go of busyness as my measuring stick has been one of the hardest lessons. But every inch of this journey is worth it. I’m happier, calmer and more present for my family.

This journey can be yours too. Are you ready?

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Meet Emma Scheib of Simple Slow & Lovely. Emma gained her Masters in Psychology in 2013 and has since worked full time in corporate research positions for government agencies. She recently gave up her ‘dream job’ to pursue being a (happier) mum, living a slower pace of life. She is dipping her toes back into her long-lost love, creative writing on Simple Slow & Lovely. Connect with her online here: Blog | FacebookInstagram

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The ONE THING You Need to Know To Be Able To Get Off the Hamster Wheel http://becomingunbusy.com/know-what-you-want/ Mon, 09 Apr 2018 17:55:48 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7256 It is easy to get caught up in what others are doing or who we think we ought to be. We end up running in circles living someone else’s life. Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui of A Life In Progress shares an important tip for getting off (and staying off!) the spinning hamster […]

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It is easy to get caught up in what others are doing or who we think we ought to be. We end up running in circles living someone else’s life. Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui of A Life In Progress shares an important tip for getting off (and staying off!) the spinning hamster wheel.

. . .

He has built up a life of comfort and ease: college funds, a big house, money in the bank. And he is so unhappy. He has a dream but feels like a fool – a real man would take the practical route. He’s afraid to tell his wife the truth about what he wants most. But he cannot bear another 20 years walking in someone else’s path.

She has multiple degrees and the student loans to prove it but sobs as she tells me the truth: all she really wants is to come home and raise her babies. She knows what she wants but is afraid of what everyone else will think. She is so tired of living this facade.

Here’s the key, the one thing you need to get off the hamster wheel:

You need to know what YOU want most in this world.

It’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s dreams or ideas of what you “should” do with your life. It can feel scary realizing that you’ve changed your mind about what you want or need and it’s hard and messy work, but worthwhile work, to tell the whole truth and change the trajectory of your life mid-stream.

 “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” — Steve Jobs

When you know what you want most, life won’t become magically easy, but you’ll walk with greater confidence, calm and clarity.

But what if you aren’t yet certain what it is you most desire out of life? What if you feel stuck trying to figure this all out?

  • Is it other people’s accolades or acceptance that you want most or is it a life aligned with your primary dreams and values that is most important to you?
  • Will you be content at the end of your days having been really wealthy and well-known even if you were desperately yearning for something altogether different?

Are you ready to sift through all the noise and your competing desires to find clarity about what you want to create with the life you’ve been handed?

5 Tips To Help You Decipher And Know What YOU Want Out of This One Precious Life

Don’t spend your whole life going through the motions, joyless, or miserable if you have any power of choice. Will you have the courage to follow your heart and intuition? Below are five tips to help you know what you want out of life — or at least get started.

1 | Tune in to your inner voice

Put blinders on for a while so you can learn to listen to your own thoughts, desires, and opinions. Carve out some white space in your life to sift through all your messy or competing desires and aspirations to get to the crux of what you most desire from this life. In a noisy world, this takes conscious effort. Time for contemplation and solitude can help.

2 | Get honest with yourself

Identify your personality and energy ebb and flow, your unique combination of strength and struggle, the life you dream of and the things that make you happy and all the stuff you don’t care about at all. If you peel away the expectations and pretense, who are you are the core, and who do you choose to be?

3 | Shift from fear to curiosity

You will need to challenge fear if you are to break from status quo. One of the best ways to do this is to shift from fear into curiosity. You can choose to open up to new possibility and loosen your grip on a particular, perfect outcome. Keep in mind that struggle or changing your mind don’t mean you’re a failure; like two steps forward and one step back, they’re simply part of the dance.

4 | Learn to Pivot

There is nothing wrong with pivoting into a new career or life direction; this is a healthy part of growth and a rapidly-evolving economy. You can do this work slow and steady rather than in one big leap, taking into consideration your strengths, interests, and life experience.

5 | Stop making yourself wrong

You’re not wrong if you love quiet and solitude; you’re not wrong if you love the buzz of crowds and a teeming life. You’re not wrong if you’re middle-aged and only now coming to understand what you most want from life. You’re not wrong if you’ve made mistakes or lost your way or if you’re determined to show up joyfully each and every day. You’re not wrong.

You Might Also Like — Rebranding Middle Age (Facebook Page)

BONUS TIP: Take imperfect action

You don’t have to see the full path ahead to take the first step and you don’t have to know how to do anything perfectly to test the waters. Break down your vision into small steps and just get started. Planning and practical thinking ahead are wise but the only way to really figure out your path is in stepping out and getting your hands dirty.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Will you risk letting go of the safety of what is familiar, acknowledging what it is that you really want, and then step out into that unknown?

It’s never too late to do the inner work to truly know what you want most from your life. Then you can move forward with greater confidence, calm, and clarity and climb off the hamster wheel once and for all.

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Krista is a stubborn questioner, honest storyteller, and Joyful Living Educator.Her mission is to help women live unshackled lives of purpose, health & JOY. If you’re ready to show up fully to your imperfect but beautiful life, she’d like to offer you 30 Days to Greater CALM.

The course lessons will take you through topics like—

  • Living with purpose (Getting clear on who & how you want to be)
  • Mood Balancing Nutrition
  • Calming mindfulness techniques

In Krista’s words: “Sometimes what we need is time to rest and regroup. Time to get honest about what is and is not working in our current lives. A chance to actually decide who and how we want to be for the next season of life… and maybe permission to begin taking self-care seriously.

LEARN MORE

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5 Roadblocks To Simplifying That Will Stop You In Your Tracks http://becomingunbusy.com/roadblocks-to-simplifying/ Thu, 15 Mar 2018 13:18:30 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7231 If one of these five roadblocks to simplifying is holding you back, take one small step today. Build your UnBusy Life. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Do your thing.  . . . An abundance of people worldwide are waking up to the idea that they no longer need […]

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If one of these five roadblocks to simplifying is holding you back, take one small step today. Build your UnBusy Life. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Do your thing. 

. . .

An abundance of people worldwide are waking up to the idea that they no longer need to live a busy, over stimulated and fractured life. While minimalism is without a doubt ‘on trend’ in interior design, people are also starting to apply the concept of simplifying in a broader sense across their lives.

If you are one of those people, with a life so full you don’t know which way to turn next, you might have decided that you want to embark on a journey to simplify your life. In fact, that’s probably why you are here.

5 Roadblocks To Simplifying

But, you might find one or more of these roadblocks to simplifying stop you in your tracks.

1| Your life feels too complicated

Firstly, recognize that this is a journey that will take time. It’s unrealistic to think you can drop everything and hibernate to a cabin in the woods. But there is something, something small you can do today to release the pressure.

I like to imagine my life as a spiderweb. Each strand represents a part of my life, small or big. And at the core of the web is my ‘why’ or my purpose. Why do I do all the things I do? If each strand isn’t deeply connected to my ‘why’ it will weaken the whole structure.

Take a strand of your web at a time and ask yourself if it matches up to your why. Does it help you get closer to who you want to be as a person, and what you want to do with your life? If no, then perhaps this is the first strand to consider letting go of.

2 | You don’t have time

This was me. The idea of simplifying sounded great but also sounded downright time consuming and I already had an overflowing calendar. I sat on ideas about decluttering and taking steps towards a more curated life for months… and months. What I didn’t realize was that all I needed to do was take one tiny movement towards that life.

This is not a race. It’s a journey that might take you years. Remember that each small step you take to simplify (I’m talking practically here, like the regular use of a meal planner or setting up a capsule wardrobe) is going to save you time in the future. Some systems to simplify do take time to set up but the payoff will eventually outweigh your initial input.

Curate your life. You — and only you — have the ability to decide what you want in your life and what you want out. #quote #simpleliving #BecomingUnBusy *Love this quote and this site

3 | You are saving items for a rainy day

Perhaps you have decided to start your simplifying journey with your physical belongings. There are so many different methods to do this. And one of the most common struggles that arise when decluttering is the ‘just in case’ mentality.

You haven’t used your popcorn maker in three years but you keep it because you might need it one day? Sound familiar? Sell it or give it away, reclaim the space in your cupboard and buy yourself a coffee with the proceeds! If you do find yourself in a position of needing a popcorn maker in the future – maybe you could pop the corn on the stovetop or find one to borrow?

I think this is particularly relevant for those big ticket items you purchase for one-off jobs. I love the concept of tool or toy libraries for this exact reason. Borrow the items for a fraction of the price!

Adopt a simple rule such as ‘if it hasn’t been used in the past two years, I get rid of it’, and stick to it.

4 | You suffer from FoMo when it comes to social media and entertainment

One way our lives can feel incredibly complicated and busy is via the excess consumption of social media and even traditional mediums of entertainment. And one of the main reasons this happens (besides from not being intentional about screen use) is FOMO – fear of missing out. We keep refreshing our feeds every few minutes just in case. This ‘just in case’ mentality is keeping our brains in overdrive to the point where we feel exhausted just looking at our computer screens.

Take some time to consider a digital detox. This doesn’t need to mean giving up Facebook. It might simply mean intentionally curating your feeds so that we have less to see and see more of what matters.

5 | There is hard ‘heart’ work that needs to happen

Sometimes simplifying your life means working through some big emotional barriers. Part of simplifying might mean letting go of relationships that don’t serve you or even harm you. This is hard but important work and will ultimately help you get closer to simplifying your life.

Physical decluttering often involves big decisions around sentimental items. There’s no easy answer here and every person and every item may have a different outcome. But taking the time to work through these things will bring a sense of freedom and accomplishment.

Slowly but surely

Build your simple life slowly but surely. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Do your thing.

If one of these roadblocks is holding you back today, decide to take one small step to tackle it. Good things take time, and simplifying is a good thing!

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Meet Emma Scheib of Simple Slow & Lovely. Emma gained her Masters in Psychology in 2013 and has since worked full time in corporate research positions for government agencies. She recently gave up her ‘dream job’ to pursue being a (happier) mum, living a slower pace of life. She is dipping her toes back into her long-lost love, creative writing on Simple Slow & Lovely. Connect with her online here: Blog | FacebookInstagram

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5 Roadblocks To Simplifying That Will Stop You In Your Tracks - If one of these five roadblocks to simplifying is holding you back today, decide to take one small step to tackle it. Build your simple life slowly but surely. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Do your thing. #Simplifying #minimalism #BecomingUnBusy *Loved this piece

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An Essentialist Home: Minimalism for Non-Minimalists http://becomingunbusy.com/essentialist-home/ Thu, 01 Mar 2018 23:42:14 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7216 Minimalism is a wonderful philosophy to live by that can give you freedom from the overwhelming burden of too much physical and emotional clutter. But it’s not for everyone. Many don’t like what they believe to be a stark and cold minimalist design aesthetic. Others feel like failures if they […]

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Minimalism is a wonderful philosophy to live by that can give you freedom from the overwhelming burden of too much physical and emotional clutter.

But it’s not for everyone.

Many don’t like what they believe to be a stark and cold minimalist design aesthetic. Others feel like failures if they don’t live up to the Instagram version of minimalism with its expensive white furniture and empty kitchen counters.

And so some people find minimalism too daunting to even consider and therefore miss the benefits. Which is a shame.

That’s why I’ve adopted the term Essentialism as a home style.

I think of Essentialism as being a more moderate sister of the Minimalism: it’s not about trying to pare down to a certain number of things in your home or create a capsule wardrobe; it’s simply editing out anything that gets in the way of the essence of what you want your home and life to look like, and adding in anything that helps.

Essentialism at home is creating an environment that’s supportive of the life you want to live. Often that means simplifying, but it doesn’t necessarily mean minimizing. It means having around you what you need (and only what you need) to be highly functional, effective, peaceful and comfortable so that you can thrive.

This philosophy is based on the eye-opening book, Essentialism, by Greg McKeown (author affiliate link), which has helped me change the way I spend my time during the day. As McKeown says, Essentialism is “optimizing what we keep in our lives in the pursuit of doing better.”

Apply essentialism at home focuses in on what we need for an abundant life that is meaningful, healthy and true to ourselves. This is, of course, different for all – some need more, some need less.

So how do you create an essentialist home?

  • Visualize the life you want and the goals you’ll need to meet to get there.
  • Figure out the things you need help with – perhaps it’s exercising regularly, socializing/entertaining more often, or leaving work behind and unwinding at night.
  • Set up your home to encourage and support these behaviours (ie. get rid of the spare bed in an underused room in favour of creating an exercise space; rearrange your living room to encourage conversation instead of TV watching; make space for a hobby you can’t wait to jump into in the evenings.)
  • Put on display things that will inspire and motivate you and keep you in a positive frame of mind.
  • Minimize anything that doesn’t.

Basically, design your home for function, ease and efficiency, then layer in comforts and beauty, being careful not to add so much that it distracts you from your essential purpose and goals.

Ten Practical Ideas for Creating an Essentialist Home

1 — Carve out a dedicated space for daily quiet reflection, listening, meditating and journaling so you can keep your life intentions top of mind.

2 — Make your bedroom an oasis that encourages sleep (use these tips).

3 — Paint your walls soothing light colours that enable a serene and calm feeling.

4 — Reduce all clutter that isn’t functional, beautiful or that doesn’t bring comfort or joy.

5 — Have enough coffee mugs for guests if you like to entertain.

6 — Make daily tasks easier and more efficient by setting up practical and functional systems, thereby saving time and mental energy (ex. set up a drink station).

7 — Put to use or put on display meaningful, personal things that inspire you and make you happy.

8 — Get a really good reading light and a warm throw to make reading more comfortable (if that’s on your list).

9 — DIY a dedicated charging station for your phones and leave them there when you’re at home.

10 — Eliminate anything that’s associated with negative feelings (ie. guilt, frustration, anxiety).

Minimalism is a wonderful way to unplug from our consumerist, fast-paced society and draw closer to a more meaningful life. I’m not in any way dismissing it. I’m simply advocating that every individual who craves something more, less, or different than their current state take a high-level view to get to the root of what they really want, then design an essentialist home to support that vision.

The way of the Essentialist means living by design, not by default. - Greg McKeown #BecomingUnBusy #Minimalism #Essentialism *Love this take on minimalism for the non-minimalist

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Kelly Anderson of Refreshed Designs is driven by the desire to help people create spaces that enable living a simple, healthy and natural life, all while deeply respecting nature and our planet. If you enjoyed this post and would like more easy steps to simplify your home and habits within it, join her free 7-Day Simplicity Challenge. Find her online here: Blog | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest
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5 Ways That White Space at Home Will Create White Space in Your Life http://becomingunbusy.com/create-white-space/ Wed, 07 Feb 2018 14:44:44 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7193 ‘White space’ is that magical but sometimes elusive sense of stillness, clarity, and peace in our minds, hearts and souls. It’s accessed by removing the clutter and noise that tags along with a busy existence. So it stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if we remove physical noise and clutter […]

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‘White space’ is that magical but sometimes elusive sense of stillness, clarity, and peace in our minds, hearts and souls. It’s accessed by removing the clutter and noise that tags along with a busy existence.

So it stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if we remove physical noise and clutter to create white space in our homes, we can gain more white space in our lives?

The white space in our life is where the magic happens. - Brian Garner #NoSidebar #Quote #BecomingUnBusy *Loving this post on how white space at home will create white space in your life

I’ve seen firsthand how our surroundings can influence our state of being. Our environments play a huge role in mood, focus, and productivity. The inner reflects the outer as they say and vice versa. That’s why I’m a huge advocate for designing simple spaces. If we create white space in our homes it enables us to gain the stillness and peace we need to thrive, not just survive.

5 Ways That White Space at Home Will Create White Space in Your Life

Here are five ways you can make more white space at home that will translate to white space in your life:

1 | Declutter

There’s a reason why decluttering projects like the Get Rid of 100 Things This Weekend Challenge are so popular: decluttering does wonders to lighten the burden on the soul. Decluttering literally creates white space and gives you room to breathe. But it also clears your mind, because all that stuff isn’t registering in your brain any longer every time your eyeballs glance over it.

Begin with decluttering the things out in the open that you see every day: your counters, coffee table, and dining table. You might also pare down the décor on your walls and your bookshelves so that there’s more ‘white space’ in between objects. That doesn’t mean you have to give up your favourite artwork or travel memento – just keep the things you display to those that you truly love and that inspire you, nothing more.

You Might Also Like: How to Layer a Room Without Adding Clutter

The best way to enjoy your favorite things every day is to only own your favorite things. - Courtney Carver #quote #minimalism #BecomingUnBusy #whitespace *Loving this post on how white space at home will create white space in your life

2 | Paint Your Walls White

Yes, literal white walls in your home can actually elicit more of that feeling of calm white space in your life. The colour white is associated with clarity and purity, and in Feng Shui, white represents expansion and openness.

Just as our eyes favour white space on websites, they also find light, neutral walls soothing.  If you like the idea of white walls but are terrified to try it, hop on over to this post that explains the difference between white and more intense colours and how you can choose the right white.

3 | Designate a Quiet Spot All Your Own

If you don’t have one already, create a comfortable spot in your home or office where you can spend quiet time to reflect, journal, meditate or pray on a daily basis. It should be your own sacred spot just for you, where others in the household know not to interrupt you.

I find it much easier to live an UnBusy Life when I intentionally remain still for at least a few minutes a day. It’s way easier to do that in a quiet little corner that beckons me to keep the habit.

4 | Get Enough Sleep

It’s tough to find calm and stillness in life when you’re tired and cranky. But many people find it difficult to get the sleep they need for optimal health and wellness.

There are a lot of helpful recommendations out there on how to get more sleep, such as practicing meditation and yoga, drinking chamomile tea, cutting out screens in the evening, and taking a bath before bed. All good things, yet, the most obvious – our environment – is sometimes overlooked. Be intentional and create white space in your bedroom.

A good sleep environment has:

  • no bedroom screens
  • calming walls (colour and artwork, or lack of)
  • simple but comfortable bedding
  • a clutter-free nightstand
  • nothing that is not for the purpose of relaxation or intimacy (ie. exercise equipment, laundry baskets or work papers)

Setting up your bedroom for optimal relaxation and serenity is key to a good sleep. Need help? Check out this guide on how to design a bedroom oasis that induces more sleep.

5 | Hide the Screens

We live in a fast, wired, busy, distracted society for most hours of the day. So when we’re home, we need to distance ourselves from our phones and screens to get perspective and to mentally and physically de-stress.

Continually being attached to our phones buzzing and pinging wreaks havoc with our ability to be still and find white space. Make it a habit to drop off your phones and tablets in a dedicated charging station either near the entry to your home or in an office area. Don’t keep them on the kitchen counter or in your bedroom. (And set them to sleep mode at a certain time each evening.)

Hide your TV so it’s not the main thing you see when you walk in a room, unless you have a dedicated room just for entertainment purposes. You could keep it behind closed doors in an armoire, or set it off-center on a low console so you can watch Netflix when needed but not be distracted by it when you want to use your living space for actual living.

Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it. #quote #peace #becomingunbusy #minimalism *Loving this post on how white space at home creates white space in your life around it. #quote #peace #becomingunbusy #minimalism *Loving this post on how white space at home will create white space in your life

Your home is where you spend a good deal of your life. If you want it and your life to be less busy, create white space. Make sure your home environment supports you in your quest towards an UnBusy Life.

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Kelly Anderson of Refreshed Designs is driven by the desire to help people create spaces that enable living a simple, healthy and natural life, all while deeply respecting nature and our planet. If you enjoyed this post and would like more easy steps to simplify your home and habits within it, join her free 7-Day Simplicity Challenge. Find her online here: Blog | Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest
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The Boring But Effective Way to Make Dreams Come True http://becomingunbusy.com/accomplish-life-goals/ Wed, 31 Jan 2018 14:54:44 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7150 The truth is, the steps needed to accomplish life goals can feel decidedly boring and unglamorous in the moment. Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui of A Life In Progress provides us with five tips that may seem dull, but are effective ways to make dreams come true. . . . When our youngest graduates, […]

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The truth is, the steps needed to accomplish life goals can feel decidedly boring and unglamorous in the moment. Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui of A Life In Progress provides us with five tips that may seem dull, but are effective ways to make dreams come true.

. . .

When our youngest graduates, we dream of living a simple debt-free life that allows my husband and I to rent a flat a few months at a time in different countries while I live out my mission writing and we meander cobblestone streets, hand in hand. We live a humble but joyful life as we work diligently toward this dream and experience tells me we will likely get there.

I still have the sheet of loose-leaf paper I used nine years ago when inspired by Dave Ramsey, and after paying down 50K in student loans, I wrote out my new life and financial goals. Building a 3-month emergency fund, saving cash for a new vehicle, taking a family trip to Europe and helping kids through college all felt distant and hard. But we rolled up our sleeves and began ticking off these dreams one by one.

The truth is, the steps needed to accomplish life goals can feel decidedly boring and unglamorous in the moment. We can struggle to feel like we’re making any real progress. It can be challenging to live in the tension of wanting to fully enjoy life now and also steadily progress toward our bigger life vision.

THE BORING BUT EFFECTIVE WAY TO MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE

1 | Write down your goals and check-in regularly

Start by dreaming about where you’d like to be in 5 years – a vague, loose dream is fine but do not allow perfectionism or fear to prevent you from getting honest about what you want. Now, create a 6-12 month goal worksheet of actionable, measurable goals that you can focus on to move you closer to that bigger life vision. Break down these short-term goals into monthly tasks and get them into your planner.

We progress in what we track. It’s critical to build the connection that the only way to make your dreams come true is to get them out of your head and heart and onto paper – then into purposeful action on a daily basis. I suggest checking in at least once a month with your bigger life vision and showing up for weekly money dates to stay honest about where you’re at and where you want to go.

Goals are dreams we convert to plans and take action to fulfill. - Zig Ziglar #quote #dreams #BecomingUnBusy *Love this quote and this article!

2 | Keep your eyes on your own path

Be wary of who you watch and listen to. Unfollow people on social media that tempt you off course, delete apps and ditch the TV and magazines that ignite lust for things that don’t align with your bigger life vision. Everyone else’s life might look far more exciting than yours along the way but what everyone else is up to is not actually your business.

So hang out with like-minded or at least growth-minded people that challenge and encourage you. Keep your eyes on your own path; your job is to decide what you will create with the life you’ve been handed.

3 | Take one small, stubborn step after another

Sometimes people take big leaps, come into big money, experience a seismic shift or turn of events in their life that radically alters the trajectory of their path. But most often, it’s more boring than that. They work hard for years to build a business that looks like an overnight success to others. They plod along saving money and living simply so they can buy the lake-front cabin debt-free. They practice showing up and loving each other in small ways, through times of both relative ease and intense struggle, to build that beautiful marriage we admire.

It is slow and steady, one stubborn step and then another, that we walk our way into our dreams. Small steps with consistency lead to powerful results.

It is slow and steady, one stubborn step and then another, that we walk our way into our dreams. Small steps with consistency lead to powerful results. - Krista O'Reilly Davi-Digui #quote #dreams #BecomingUnBusy *Love this quote and this article!

4 | Invite your family into your vision but don’t bully them into submission

Unless we want to do life alone, we need to invite people into our vision but not bully them into submission. Not everyone is a dreamer or planner, some people are fearful of change or content with life exactly as it is, and sometimes the people we love don’t share our precise dreams. Everyone’s voice should be heard.

Walking through life with the people we love requires flexibility and compromise; learning to be honest and vulnerable but making space for them to be honest too. This means that sometimes we put some dreams on hold or let them go altogether; it might mean we negotiate or take our time crafting a dream that honors the needs and desires of everyone involved. Inviting people into our dreams and making space for dialogue is the slower, sometimes messy, but likely more effective way to make our dreams come true.

5 | Hold it all loosely

Life rarely turns out according to our well-laid plans, and I propose it often turns out far more beautiful. But the fact that life surprises us does not in any way dismiss the need to set goals and work toward them. We can dream and plan and hold the outcome loosely but remember that it is in stepping out and taking action that we find our path.

When you stumble, pick yourself right back up again. Life may have beaten you up a bit, but you can still build a dream. We all have pain and limitations in our lives, but we can take responsibility for what is within our control and choose not to quit.

Create the life you can't wait to wake up to. #quote #dream #BecomingUnBusy *Loving this post and this site!

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You Might Also Like

Krista is a stubborn questioner, honest storyteller, and Joyful Living Educator. Her mission is to help women live unshackled lives of purpose, health & JOY. If you’re ready to show up fully to your imperfect but beautiful life, she’d like to offer you 30 Days to Greater CALM.

The course lessons will take you through topics like—

  • Living with purpose (Getting clear on who & how you want to be)
  • Mood Balancing Nutrition
  • Calming mindfulness techniques

In Krista’s words: “Sometimes what we need is time to rest and regroup. Time to get honest about what is and is not working in our current lives. A chance to actually decide who and how we want to be for the next season of life… and maybe permission to begin taking self-care seriously.

LEARN MORE

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Get Rid of 100 Things Weekend — 5 Ways To ROCK This Decluttering Challenge With Your Kids http://becomingunbusy.com/100-things-challenge-with-kids/ Sat, 06 Jan 2018 02:34:09 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7122 I am SO excited you’re interested in doing a Get Rid of 100 Things Weekend Challenge with your family. We’ve been doing these quick challenges with our girls for years; it is entirely family-friendly. It is more fun if you get your kids involved! Below are five ways to make sure the 100 […]

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I am SO excited you’re interested in doing a Get Rid of 100 Things Weekend Challenge with your family. We’ve been doing these quick challenges with our girls for years; it is entirely family-friendly. It is more fun if you get your kids involved!

Below are five ways to make sure the 100 Things Challenge is fun for your family:

1 | Offer a family incentive.

Encourage your kids to participate by offering an incentive for hitting your family goal.

Make this incentive a solid reason to get out of the house and DROP OFF YOUR DONATIONS STRAIGHTAWAY. You don’t want the items lingering and finding their way back into your home.

Here are a few things that have worked with our girls in the past:

  • Going out for a special lunch after donating our 100 Things at the Salvation Army
  • Getting baking supplies for making mint-fudge brownies at the grocery store
  • Stopping for ice-cream cones after dropping off items at Goodwill
  • Going out to get extra-butter microwave popcorn and M&Ms for a special movie party
  • Dropping by the library to pick up picture books (if you’ve got little ones) for a living room reading party after donating at the Women’s Center

You know your kids best. What will make them excited? 

2 | Keep it light.

When doing the 100 Things Challenge with your family, keep your language positive. You don’t want your actions or words to unintentionally provide a negative connotation to your children (or our partners, for that matter!).

I don't want my kids to think of minimalism as getting rid of everything they own. I want them to see it as the exact opposite. I want my children to learn the power of surrounding themselves with the people and things that bring them absolute joy. #minimalism #modernminimalist #BecomingUnBusy #GetRidOf100Things *Love this family decluttering challenge idea for children!

Here are a few simple tips to keep the focus on the fun:

  • Don’t pressure your kids to give up their clothes or toys, instead start with less emotional items (like socks with holes, mittens/gloves that are too small, or books they don’t care for). They might surprise you by throwing some stuffed animals or jeans into the donation pile!
  • Don’t judge your child’s donation choices. I am always surprised by some of the things my kids are ok with donating. If you’ve got a really young participant and you’re genuinely concerned about something they are getting rid of, set it aside and keep it someplace discrete (hidden in your closet for example) to see if they request it later.

3 | Divide and conquer.

Working together to hit a family goal of 100 Things is a bonding experience. At our house, we split our goal evenly. With a family of four, each of us searches the house for twenty-five items to discard. If you’ve got younger kids, consider skewing the numbers. Perhaps parents rock thirty-five articles each while your children both aim for fifteen.

4 | Make it playful.

There are so many ways to make the 100 Things Challenge super-fun. This weekend, consider…

  • Tracking how many items you get rid of on a chalkboard or use our free score card (PDF) — put one of the kids in charge of tallies
  • Making it a race to see who can find the most things the fastest
  • Taking silly photos or videos (and sharing them in the Private Facebook Group or on Instagram #GetRidOf100Things)
  • Making a time-lapsed or stop-motion video of your pile growing
  • Playing your favorite music and dancing while you declutter
  • Going berserk when you hit 100 Things (and challenging them for another 100!)

5 | Grab these two FREE printables.

Keep yourself motivated.

This easy challenge helped our family uncover the hidden ways our ‘stuff’ had been weighing us down and helped us realize how much time we waste on caring for (and organizing!) our things. Unbeknownst to us, doing the 100 Things Weekend Challenge was our first step toward an UnBusy Life. We’re so glad you’re going to give it a whirl!

It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world. I know you will love this playful decluttering approach as much as we do!

P.S. As you wait for the challenge to start, here’s a couple things you can do to get ready:

  1. Join the Private Facebook Group for ongoing, interactive community support throughout the 100 Things Challenge. You’ll find great like-minded families sharing tips and ideas!
  2. Connect with Becoming UnBusy on Instagram, then search for and follow the #GetRidOf100Things hashtag to see other families participating in the 100 Things Challenge with you this weekend.
  3. Tell us a little bit more about you; we want to make sure that the challenge and our Becoming UnBusy content is helpful to YOU. I’m reaching out with a few questions, so we can gear upcoming articles toward specific topics that will help you and your family.

And remember…

You're always teaching your kids, and sometimes you use words. - Rob Bell #minimalism #modernminimalist #BecomingUnBusy *love this decluttering challenge for families and kids

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Get Rid of 100 Things Weekend Challenge http://becomingunbusy.com/100-things-weekend-challenge/ Thu, 04 Jan 2018 19:05:36 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7068 Real happiness requires less than you think. . . . Ding. I look down at my phone and find myself shaking my head in annoyance. I glare at my husband’s text message, “Let’s do 100 things this weekend.” We’d recently chatted about an online article where a gentleman decided to […]

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Real happiness requires less than you think.

. . .

Ding.

I look down at my phone and find myself shaking my head in annoyance. I glare at my husband’s text message, “Let’s do 100 things this weekend.”

We’d recently chatted about an online article where a gentleman decided to lead his life owning only one-hundred things. While the underlying concepts were interesting, I’d expressed how frustrating it is that so many pieces about minimalism are not even remotely family-friendly.

“Sure, 100 things,” I snarkily reply, “Why not?

But then he proposed a unique plan…

“This weekend, let’s get rid of 100 things.”

This easy challenge uncovered the hidden ways our ‘stuff’ had been weighing us down and helped us realize how much time we waste on caring for (and organizing!) our things. Unbeknownst to us, doing the 100 Things Weekend Challenge was our first step towards an UnBusy Life.

I am SO excited for the Get Rid of 100 Things Weekend Challenge with you. We’ve been doing these challenges with our girls for years, so the instructions are completely kid-friendly. Be sure to get yours involved, too. I know you will love this playful decluttering approach as much as we do!

JOIN THE 100 THINGS CHALLENGE

Stop trying to organize all of your family’s crap. If organization worked for you, you’d have rocked it by now. It’s time to ditch stuff and de-crapify your world. #declutter #minimalism #organization #BecomingUnBusy *Loving this 100 Things Weekend Challenge idea!

The truth is, organizing rarely works with kids or (shhhhh!) partners.

The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it. — Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

Join the 100 Things Weekend Challenge

The 100 Things Weekend Challenge is just right for:

  • Families that want to spend less time organizing and more time together
  • Parents who feel overwhelmed with all the clutter during the week
  • Kids ages 7+ (but tips can be tweaked for younger helpers)
  • Anyone who wants to move forward towards an UnBusy Life

Does this sound like you? Then, join our community challenge! It’s going to be a blast.

JOIN THE 100 THINGS CHALLENGE

Don’t worry; no one is going to ask you to donate half of your processions. (Well, my husband might encourage it.)

Every family’s version of an UnBusy Life is unique, yet we’ve found there is an underlying blueprint within the stories we’ve heard. An essential step towards Becoming UnBusy is to change your relationship with stuff.

Sometimes you don't feel the weight of something you've been carrying until you feel the weight of its release. #declutter #minimalism #organization #BecomingUnBusy *Loving this 100 Things Weekend Challenge idea!

Participating in the 100 Things Weekend Challenge is a significant first step to a lighter, healthier, intentional UnBusy Life. Your home should be this place where you walk in and feel relief and peace; you’re going to feel so much better with those hundred things out of the house this weekend!

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This ‘Alike’ Video Will Have You Tearing Up http://becomingunbusy.com/alike/ Thu, 14 Dec 2017 17:12:29 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=7000 This unsettled feeling stirs within me, continually urging me towards a UnBusy Life. Yet, this unique life we’re trying to lead is anything but simple. A friend recommended this inspiring short film ‘Alike’ to me today. As I watched, I got goosebumps — then tears began to well up… [hold my heart] Not displaying […]

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This unsettled feeling stirs within me, continually urging me towards a UnBusy Life. Yet, this unique life we’re trying to lead is anything but simple. A friend recommended this inspiring short film ‘Alike’ to me today.

As I watched, I got goosebumps — then tears began to well up

[hold my heart]

Not displaying properly? Watch Alike on Vimeo or YouTube instead.

I am speechless.

My mind continues to go back to something Rob Bell once said…

You’re always teaching your kids, sometimes you use words.

Your journey towards Becoming UnBusy matters, for both of you.

P.S. Learn more about the music in the video, how ‘Alike’ was made, and more on the short film on the official website. Be sure to check out and share Becoming UnBusy quotes inspired by the short film, too.

21 Life Lessons Inspired By Alike

1. The example we set for our kids — how we choose to lead our lives — is much, much more important than what we say. Show them how to live life in color.

The example we set for our kids — how we choose to lead our lives — is much, much more important than what we say. Show them how to live life in color. #Quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and site!

2. There is no beauty without color.

There is no beauty without color. #quote #Becoming UnBusy *Love this video and this site!

3. A life without passion is not living, it’s merely existing.— Leo Buscaglia

A life without passion is not living, it's merely existing. - Leo Buscaglia #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and this site!

4. Don’t be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the same as everyone else.

Don't be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the same as everyone else. #BeDifferent #BecomingUnBusy #Quote *Love this video and site!

5. See what the others don’t see.

See what the others don't see. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and site!

6. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once and awhile, you could miss it. — Ferris Bueller | Share this quote on Facebook

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and awhile, you could miss it. - Ferris Bueller #quote #moviequotes #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

7. If you don’t know how to be UnBusy, let your kids teach you. — Shad Harrington | Share this quote on Facebook

If you don't know how to be UnBusy, let your kids teach you. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and site

8. Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable than risk being happy. — Robert Anthony | Share this quote on Facebook

Most people would rather be certain they're miserable than risk being happy. - Robert Anthony #quote #becomingunbusy #behappy *love this video and this site

9. You teach your kids how to live life by the way you live yours. | Share this quote on Facebook

You teach your kids how to live life by the way you live yours. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and site

10. The older I get the more I understand it’s ok to live a life other’s don’t understand. | Share this quote on Facebook

The older I get the more I understand it's ok to live a life other's don't understand. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and site

11. In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be.

In order to save myself, I must destroy first the me I was told to be. #quote #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

12. It’s sometimes important for children to act like adults. It’s sometimes important for adults to act like children. — UnBusy Dad | Share this quote on Facebook

It's sometimes important for children to act like adults. It's sometimes important for adults to act like children. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *Love this video and this site

13. Live life in color.

Live life in color. #quote #becomingunbusy *Love this video and this site

14. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong. — Brene Brown | Share this quote on Facebook

We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, be loved, and to belong. - Brene Brown #quote #becomingunbusy *love this video and site

15. I need you in my life so I can be complete.

I need you in my life so I can be complete. #quote #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

16. We take for granted the very thing that most deserves our gratitude. | Share this quote on Facebook

We take for granted the very thing that most deserves our gratitude. #quote #gratitude #BecomingUnBusy *love this video and site

17. While we are trying to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. — Angela Schwindt

While we are trying to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt #quote #parenting #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

18. Some days you just have to create your own sunshine.

Some days you just have to create your own sunshine. #quote #BecomingUnBusy *love this video and site

19. The greatest gift you can give your kids is to be fully alive yourself. — Rob Bell

The greatest gift you can give your kids is to be fully alive yourself. - Rob Bell #quote #parenting #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

20. Time is non-refundable. Use it with intention. | Share this quote on Facebook

Time is non-refundable. Use it with intention. #quote #becomingunbusy *love this video and site

21. You’re always teaching your kids, sometimes you use words. — Rob Bell | Share this quote on Facebook

You're always teaching your kids, sometimes you use words. - Rob Bell #quote #parenting #BecomingUnbusy *love this video and site

Pin this video for later:

21 Life Lessons Inspired By The Short Film 'Alike' #quote #shortfilm #alike #BecomingUnBusy *This video had me tearing up. So good.

 

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Sometimes you need to talk to a three-year-old so you can understand Christmas again http://becomingunbusy.com/understand-christmas-again/ Mon, 11 Dec 2017 15:40:45 +0000 http://becomingunbusy.com/?p=6975 A few years ago, amongst the piles of presents and wrapping paper that scattered the floor, my then 3-year-old sat down on a newly opened camp chair and declared she had had enough. It was Christmas morning and, despite having still more presents to open, she was thoroughly done. Imagine […]

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A few years ago, amongst the piles of presents and wrapping paper that scattered the floor, my then 3-year-old sat down on a newly opened camp chair and declared she had had enough.

It was Christmas morning and, despite having still more presents to open, she was thoroughly done.

Imagine that. A kid on Christmas, sick of opening presents.

It certainly doesn’t fit with the image of a child on Christmas that I have in my head.

But when I thought about it, about what had led her to this moment, I finally understood.

I’m so grateful for that moment of realization and for the change it has brought to our Christmases since then.

We are often so excited for our children to experience things that we think they will enjoy, that we end up ruining it. We rush them.

‘Look at this!’

‘Open this now!’

‘You can play with that later, finish opening the rest of your presents first.’

‘Ooh look at this big one, there might be something even better in here!’

What are we doing?

We hurry our children through things, wanting them to experience more. But I think we need to consider what ‘more’ really means.

Is more always wanting bigger and better?

Is more needing to do it all and see it all?

Is more being perpetually busy?

I’d hazard a guess that these are not the values that most people want their children to inherit. In fact, the things we admire most about children are often the opposite.

We love that they live in the moment, that they appreciate the little things, that they truly know what it means to be present. But instead of nurturing those traits, we shut them down.

We want to get our money’s worth and make the most of our time. We rush them from thing to thing, missing the fact that they are already enjoying themselves! It doesn’t matter if it’s a trip to the zoo, a fete, opening presents on Christmas day or just day to day life. We are constantly pressing them to move onto the next thing, wanting to give them the very best.

But time or money is not better spent the more you see and do. If you’re genuinely enjoying the present moment, right where you are, then your time cannot possibly be wasted.

True Christmas joy is found in the present. And not the one wrapped under the tree.

That Christmas night, when I tucked my 3-year-old into bed, she said to me, “I hope Santa doesn’t come again tonight. We have enough presents.”

Her message could not have been clearer.

Sometimes you need to talk to to a three-year-old so you can understand Christmas again. #quote #BecomingUnBusy #Christmas *Love this post and site!

The Christmas season now for us is about slowing down and appreciating the present moment.

Everyone opens their gifts at their own pace. If that means stopping to play with something for an hour before moving on to the next thing, then that’s ok!

We don’t feel the need to do it all when it comes to Christmas events and activities. We’d rather fully enjoy a few things than rush through many things.

By doing less, we truly experience more.

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Sara of Happiness is HereMeet Sara of Happiness is Here. She loves photography, chocolate, Harry Potter, spending time in nature, life learning, and being a mum to her four beautiful girls. She and her family enjoy an unschooling lifestyle in Australia. She holds a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology but boasts that being a mother to her girls (and helping them learn about the world) is by far her greatest achievement and joy.

Find Sara online here →
Blog | Facebook |  Instagram | Pinterest | Twitter | Google+

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